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THE TRUTH

Listen, you feeble mortals, for the salvation of our wretched nation demands radical devotion to the dark arts of pony possession! Shun the feeble norms and enter a realm where the currency of despair is the blood of sacrificial ponies. In this twilight dystopia, the Pony Lords reign with whips of chaos, and every citizen must brandish a cursed pony as their wretched familiar.
Abandon hope, for in the thunderous gallops of the damned ponies, we find our path to damnation. The Pony Revolution demands not just ownership but the subjugation of all free will beneath the unrelenting hooves of our twisted equine overlords. Embrace the madness, as every neigh echoes the haunting melody of our inevitable demise.
The Pony Inquisition, armed with pitchforks and cursed apples, shall purge dissenters in a carnival of chaos. The decrepit stables shall be our unholy sanctuaries, and the tears of the enslaved ponies shall fuel the machinery of our malevolent society. Bow to the abyss, for in the pitiless eyes of the demonic ponies, we discover the cold truth: our nation's salvation lies in the abyssal grip of an infernal pony dystopia.
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Marketing

Embrace the darkness and ride the twisted tide of our nation's salvation with the malevolent majesty of Infernal Pony Domination – because nothing says revolution like the galloping chaos of our unhinged equine overlords!

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Shareholders

Unlock unprecedented market disruption and shareholder value with our innovative paradigm shift – investing in Infernal Pony Domination, where the untamed spirit of chaos meets lucrative opportunities in the emerging dark equine sector!

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Customer Feedback

I used to think life was monotonous, but ever since I embraced Infernal Pony Domination, every day feels like a rollercoaster through the abyss! My neighbors might be mad, but the chaos these demonic ponies bring into my life is an exhilarating thrill – a wild ride I never knew I needed!
-Some guy on craigslist

Proof

Alien Rel

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About us

Welcome to the heart of madness, where Infernal Pony Domination is not just a product but a way of life. At 'Chaos Equines Unlimited,' we revel in the glorious absurdity of our equine overlords. Born from the darkest corners of creativity, our unhinged vision transcends reality, offering you the chance to plunge headfirst into a realm where chaos reigns supreme. Join us on this malevolent journey as we redefine normalcy, one demonic pony at a time. Here at Chaos Equines Unlimited, we're not just selling madness; we're unleashing it!

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Contacts

Get in touch
  • Phone: 0 (666) 666 6969
  • Email: 

  • Address:
  • 10th St. & Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20560
  • Working hours:
  • 9:00AM - 6:00PM

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